Straw

Enough is enough! The last few weeks seem to have brought so many final straws that the camel’s back has been broken, ground down and the dust blown to the remotest corners of the planet.

Firstly, our lovely new house. It is lovely, but it does need some work. We knew this, but we didn’t realise that every single job would turn out to be bigger, more expensive and more time-consuming than expected. While sorting out the flat roof, we discovered we had to redo the render on the extension and while doing that, we found we needed to replace the guttering and fascias and soffits. (I didn’t even know what fascias and soffits were until last week…) The wiring is a mess and though I know FiL will do a fantastic job sorting this out for us, it’s still going to be messy and take time. Curtains for the bay window are complicated because we can’t fix the track to the ceiling and we recently discovered that we don’t have any hot water when the heating isn’t on…

If only my straws were this bright and cheerful...
If only my straws were this bright and cheerful…

The other major thing is that the Jam’s MRI is now so close that I can’t ignore it anymore. The purpose is to plan for the next operation, so it’s not as if we’re going to get a shock when they tell us he needs surgery, but it’s still an unpleasant two or three days. He’s too young to lie still enough, so it has to be done under general anaesthetic, which means at least eight hours fasting beforehand. The GA also depresses his respiratory rate, which is not great for someone whose oxygen saturations are only around 83% on a good day. He’ll be okay next week, but it’s a vivid reminder of how serious his condition is, and that all too soon I’ll be handing my baby over to the same team for several hours of open heart surgery.

Thirdly, I’m not pregnant. I’d like to be, but this month I’m definitely not…again. As an added bonus I have backache and cramps to emphasise the situation.

As if we didn’t have enough on our plates, this morning I managed to gouge a large chunk out of the sidewall of the newest (of course) tyre on our car. It’s still inflated but for safety it will have to be replaced. More time, more money…

Lastly (and least, but still irritating) the new sim card for my phone, which EE promised would work as soon as I inserted it, didn’t work. It works now, but only after a lengthy phone call, most of which involved listening to terrible music while on hold between advisors.

I know that many, many people have much worse things to deal with, and that some of them do so with a smile on their faces. I do try, sometimes so hard that my cheeks ache, but sometimes I feel that coping with the big stuff (the Jam’s CHD) ought to mean that I don’t have to deal with all the little problems as well. Sometimes I just don’t have the energy, patience or hope left for all the stupid niggling things (the proverbial straws) that should’t even bother me, things like tyres and phones that I know don’t really matter. Sometimes I just need to rant at the world – thanks for listening.

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